The · Book · You · Screw

These aren't in a particular ranking and the ones I find most memorable at the moment:

1. A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
2. The Metamorphosis and Other Stories by Franz Kafka
3. Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
4. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole
5. The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russell
6. The Secret History by Donna Tartt
7. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
8. Dubliner's by James Joyce
9. Kindred by Octavia Butler
10. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
11. Possession by A.S. Byatt
12. Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff
13. Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
14. The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch by Philip K. Dick
15. Oscar & Lucinda by Peter Carey
16. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
17. The Flanders Panel by Arturo Perez-Reverte
18. Time & Again by Jack Finney
19. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
20. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
21. Beloved by Toni Morrison

1. Death, Destruction and the Destitute - Ruth Richardson
2. The Hanging Tree - V.A.C. Gatrell
3. The Gospel According To Jesus Christ - Jose Saramago
4. The Nine Tailors - Dorothy L. Sayers
5. Checkmate - Dorothy Dunnett
6. Plain Tales From The Hills - Rudyard Kipling
7. Insomnia - Stephen King
8. Collected Sermons - John Donne
9. A History Of Western Music - Grout
10. Don't Leave Me This Way - Joan Smith
11. The Ogre Downstairs - Diana Wynne Jones
12. The Book Of Three - Lloyd Alexander
13. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
14. Three Legions - Rosemary Sutcliffe
15. No Comebacks - Frederick Forsyth
16. Pix - Bill James
17. The Cloud of Unknowing - Anon
18. Sonnets - Gerard Manley Hopkins
19. Maiden In The Moor Lay - Anon
20. Le Cure de Tours - Balzac.

Mirror, Mirror: Forty Folk Tales for Mothers and Daughters to Share--Jane Yolen
Young Miles--Lois McMaster Bujold
Villette--Charlotte Bronte
Ontario heritage directory--Ontario Historical Society
The ultimate guide to pregnancy for lesbians--Rachel Pepper
Every Picture Tells a Story--Rolf Harris
Student handbook policies: A forms manual for college decision makers--Kent M. Weeks
Wraith Squadron--Aaron Allston
Ilse Witch--Terry Brooks
Lessen in regie--Sergei M. Eisenstein
Lost Land of the Dodo: The Ecological History of Mauritius, Reunion, and Rodrigues--Anthony Cheke
Animation Techniques--Roger Noake
LISP--Patrick Henry Winston
Lost & Found--Jacqueline Sheehan
Babylonische Tempeltoren: Een Archaeologische en Stijlcritische Studie--Th. A. Busink
Eat More, Weigh Less--Dean Ornish
Rescue My Child: The Story of the Ex-Delta Commandos Who Bring Home Children Abducted Overseas--Neil C. Livingstone
Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes--Beatrix Potter
Naturen : djur, växter, träd--David Sharp
Demon Lord of Karanda--David Eddings
Oxford School Dictionary--Dorothy C. Mackenzie
Mayflower: A Story of Courage, Community, and War--Nathaniel Philbrick

Alias Grace - Margaret Atwood
Orlando - Virginia Woolf
I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith
Anna Karenina - Tolstoj
Lord of Scoundrels - Loretta Chase
The Portable Dorothy Parker - Dorothy Parker
Lucky Chances - Jackie Collins
The Age of Innocence - Edith Wharton
Green Eggs and Ham and Other Favorites - Dr. Seuss
Princess Daisy - Judith Krantz
The Alchemist - Paula Coelho
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
Flowers in the Attic - Virginia Andrews
We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson
Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
Posession - A.s. Byatt
sTORItelling - Tori Spelling
The Bone People - Keri Hulme
Left Behind - Tom LaHaye
Moby Dick - Herman Melville

1. All My Patients Are Under the Bed, Dr. Louis J. Camuti
2. Cat Fancy--YA, I KNOU ITZ SHALLOW, BUT I GOTZ 2 GIT SUM ENTERTAINMENT IN DIS DAMN APARTMENT
3. Agnes Bowker's Cat: Travesties and Transgressions in Tudor and Stuart England, David Cressy--HA, I IZ NOT AZ SHALLOW AS U FINK!
4. Puss in Boots--ANY VERSHUN BUT SHREK
5. Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, T.S. Eliot
6. Koko's Kitten--DAT IZ WAN BADASS GORILLA
7. Aesop's Fables
8. Chester Cheetah, A Diary
9. "The Black Cat," Edgar Allen Poe
10. The Cat in the Hat, Dr. Seuss
11. Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
12. ANY OF DOSE Harry Potter BOOKZ, I LIEK DAT MCGONAGALL CHICK
13. The Patchwork Girl of Oz, Frank Baum
14. MacBeth, William Shakespeare
15. The Witches, Roald Dahl
16. "Shcrödinger's Cat" by Ursula LeGuin
17. Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami
18. Buffy the Vampire Slayer--IT AINT BOOK, BUT KITTY FANTASTICO SEZ 'BITE ME'
19. Lady and the Tramp--DOSE SIAMESE RAWK
20. How to Speak LOL CAT--What? You thought we actually communicated like this? Ignorami. I was just meeting your lowly expectations for this screwy club.

Hail to this new community - this Symposium of bookworms, this monument to bibliomania!

And now, to business. HERE ARE TWENTY BOOKS WHICH ARE PRETTY SWEET:

1. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
2. Crabs on the Rampage, Guy N Smith
3. The Clansman, Thomas Dixon
4. The Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith JR (in collaboration with God)
5. Collected Works of William McGonnagall
6. Paradise Regained, John Milton
7. Telemachus Sneezed, Atlanta Hope
8. The Sorrows of Young Werther, JW von Goethe
9. Legend of Rah & The Muggles, Nancy Stouffer (so much better than Harry Potter)
10. Naked Lunch, William Burroughs
11. An American Dream, Norman Mailer
12. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
13. The Merry Wives of Windsor, William Shakespeare
14. The Flame of Life, Gabriele D'Annunzio
15. Vineland, Thomas Pynchon
16. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
17. Batrachomyomachia, Homer
18. The Science of Knowledge, JG Fichte
19. Chamber Music, James Joyce
20. A Clergyman's Daughter, George Orwell

1. Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
2. Melusine, Sarah Monette
3. Monkey, Wu Ch'eng-en
4. Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy
5. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
6. Middlesex, Jeffery Eugenides
7. The Orphan's Tales, Catherynne M. Valente.
8. The Island in the Mind, Rodney Hall
9. Sushi for Beginners, Marian Keyes
10. The Secret History, Donna Tart
11. The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony, Robert Calasso
12. The Wanderground, Sally Miller Gearhart
13. The Green Knight, Iris Murdoch
14. The War Among the Angels, Michael Moorcock
15. The Paradox of Subjectivity, David Carr
16. The Golden Notebook, Doris Lessing
17. Babel Tower, A. S. Byatt
18. Mansfield Park, Jane Austen
19. The Long Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
20. Life, A User's Manual, Georges Perec
21. Late Shows, Frank Moorhouse

Not necessarily my favorites, but some books I proselytize for.

1. Joanna Russ, The Female Man
2. John Keegan, The Face of Battle
3. Neal Stephenson, The Diamond Age
3πr. Sean Stewart, Perfect Circle
4. Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
5. Lorelei, The Mistress Manual*
6. Simon Schama, Landscape and Memory
7. Shirley Hazzard, The Bay of Noon
8. Ursula K. Le Guin, The Language of the Night
8ß. John Le Carré, The Little Drummer Girl
9. Richard Slotkin, Regeneration through Violence
10. Rene Girard, Violence and the Sacred
¡. Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery
11. Margaret Halsey, With Malice toward Some
12. Florence King, Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady
13. David Bradley, The Cheyneysville Incident
Ѽ. Patrick Califia, Macho Sluts
14. Kelynda, The Crystal Tree*
15. Barbara Michaels, Ammie Come Home
16. Toni Morrison, Beloved
µ. Thomas Tryon, Harvest Home
17. Mary Daly, Gyn/Ecology
¿. Mary Duffy, The HOAX Fashion Formula
18. Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa
§. Richard Adams, The Girl on a Swing
19. Julia Kristeva, Tales of Love
20. John McPhee, The Control of Nature

*Because I need the royalties, dammit. Not that I get any.

Here is my list! XD XD XD

1. Babysitters' Club Series #3: The Truth About Stacey by Ann M. Martin
2. The Hitch-hiker's Guidebook to the Universe by Douglas Addams
3. Babysitters' Club Series #10: Logan Likes Mary Anne! by Ann M. Martin
4. Star Quality by Joan Collins
5. Deadly Embrace by Jackie Collins
6, Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
7. The Funhouse by Dean Koontz
8. Sexuality and Being in the Poststructuralist Universe of Clarice Lispector: The Différance of Desire by Earl E. Fitz
9. James and the Giant Peach by C.S. Lewis
10. Female Perversions by Albert Reissner
11. Kilmeny of the Orchard by L.M. Montgomery
12. Sweet Valley High #64: The Ghost of Tricia Martin created by Francine Pascal
13. Harry Potter Books 1-7 Except Book 3 by J.K. Rowling
14. A Practical Approach to Regional Anesthesia by Michael F Mulroy
15. Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Garner
16. Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out by Dr. Phil McGraw
17. Tickle His Pickle! Your Hands-On Guide To Penis-Pleasing by Sadie Allison
18. The Second Coming: A Leatherdyke Reader by Pat Califia
19. The Poky Little Puppy (A Little Golden Book) by Janette Sebring Lowrey
20. Nothing Tacky Or Low: My Thirty-Year Love-Affair with Dame Julie Andrews by Carol Burnett