I really, really, really love books. And I hope you really, really love my 20 favorite books because I'm a nerd and I really, really, really want to be accepted by badasses like you!
1.) Hard Times by Charles Dickens
2.) The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
3.) Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
4.) A Child Called "It" by Dave Pelzer
5.) Scapegoat: The Jews, Israel, and Women's Liberation by Andrea Dworkin
6.) Winter of Fire by Sherryl Jordan
7.) The Canterbury Tales be Geoffrey Chaucer
8.) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
9.) Marley & Me by John Grogan
10.) Gossip Girl by Cecily Von Ziegesar
11.) The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
12.) An Obedient Father by Akhil Sharma
13.) The Waste Land by T.S. Eliot
14.) Life is Not a Fairy Tale by Fantasia
15.) Who Moved My Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard
16.) Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte
17.) The Nanny Diaries by Emma Mclaughlin and Nicola Kraus (OMG! THEY'RE LIKE THE SAME BOOK!)
18.) Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare
19.) Bet Me by Jennifer Cruise
20.) Are Men Necessary? by Maureen Dowd
Pleeeease. I tried REALLY HARD!
But ... but ... it's about a young woman taking care of rich people's kids. It's TOTALLY THE SAME except the preacher guy is now "Harvard Hottie."
What is the semiotic significance of The Waste Land's untranslated opening quotation?
Um ... that T.S. Eliot is smarter than me and wants me to know it?
Well, I had to do this biography on him once for, like, 8th grade or whatever. And he seemed like a cool guy. I mean, that Anti-Semitism kind of sucks but he likes Groucho Marx or whatever so he can't be all bad, right? I thought it would be cool.
I did read "Spleen" ... [flips through a book] ... just now. It's all right. I like that it's short!
Oh, that's easy. I mean, the references to female masturbation are all over the poem. "Bonnets." "Silk hats." That says "vagina" to me. When Eliot says "In repetition that displaces/Your mental self-possession/By this unwarranted digression" he's clearly referring to a woman masturbating ("unwarranted digression") and orgasming ("displaces your mental self-possession").
"And Life, a little bald and gray" is clearly a reference to a penis, albiet one that might be a little sick. But the penis has to wait "with hat and gloves in hand" (clearly to cover its erect state) while the woman gets off on her own, so the poem taps into man's feeling of inadequacy as well.
Plus, there's all that Church stuff that the poem may really be about but why is the Church there if not to make you feel bad about masturbating, right?
In conclusion "Spleen" = "Clitoris."
I was left alone in an apartment one day and read the only romance novel of my life, a book by Jennifer CRUSIE. Not Cruise.
Mispelling of author's names: would be an automatic no if you hadn't already burned your bridges with only a liferaft full of tiger to save you.
Have I made things clear enough for you let? No? Move your cheese right back to MySpace.